"Prepare yourselves for the greatest pinball gaming experience of all time!"
- Yours Truly
For added humor, and to celebrate the unique personality and character of the Marvel superhero Deadpool, this entire article will be written in his fourth-wall breaking first-person perspective. It is most enjoyable for readers who can make their best Nolan North impression.
Deadpool is one of a multitude of Marvel pinball tables released in 2014, available for Zen Pinball 2, Pinball FX 2 and Pinball FX 3. Originally released as a standalone table, it was released as part of the Heavy Hitters pack-
Alright, enough of that boring, boilerplate article intro stuff! When you write an article about the Merc with the Mouth, YOU KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT, RIGHT? So you say THIS article is about a pinball table celebrating all things me, right? Well, let me tell you, this is basically the most awesome pinball table YOU'LL ever play - because it has ME in it, and you'll get a glimpse of all the mayhem that I've been through in missions and modes mostly based on what my creators Fabian and Rob put me through. You think it's all superhero-ey stuff, like all the other Marvel tables you've played? Well, you might wanna think again... those developers have a mind of their own...
Oh, and by the way, this isn't the only pinball table about me. Those folks at Stern Pinball decided to make a REAL one back in 2018, and you know you've made it when you have a physical pinball machine named after you.
Objective and missions[]
I get to force you to experience all the crazy stuff I've been through in eight missions across five crazy issues. That's as simple as I can make it, right? And in order to start a mission, you gotta shoot either crossramp, shoot the spinners enough times, and then make a shot up that center ramp. Easy, right? Now, bear in mind that you have to do what you're told without draining the ball...and without taking too long. 'Cuz if you drain the ball or run out of time, well, the mission fails and you have to start it over. And once you beat a mission? You can't play it again 'till you start the wizard mode. And remember, some missions can't be started from the get go because they're not the first missions of an issue, but you can jump straight into one if you beat that first mission. Cool?
If you're up for a challenge, you can spin the flags a little more to fill the meters again and kick the mission difficulty up to Medium and then once more for Hard before you sink the ball in the center ramp, but don't say I didn't warn you. Each difficulty setting lowers the time limits, but also means more points for doing things, and more points added to the jackpot value. Hope you're a masochist.
All right, so in order to get to the wizard mode, you need to beat all 8 missions listed below across 5 issues:
ISSUE #1
- Chapter One - Kick Beat' Em: There are some people who just don't like me for some reason - what did I ever do to them? So you gotta help me deal with 'em. You do just that by hitting the varitarget in front of my chair, then within a measly 15 seconds, shoot the center ramp to take care of one of them. You need to get rid of all three of them, so do this twice more. If you run out of time, they'll jump me. If that happens three times, well, they get the better half of me...
ISSUE #2
- Chapter Two - Lil' Me: Dang it, I told Zen not to include that tiny version of myself and look at what they did... looks like you'll have to deal with him too. (And I thought he'd be friendly because he's me, right?) You have all the time in the world to spin the flags in the orbits until the counter on the scoring display reaches zero. That will lower the entrances of the two ramps flanking the center ramp, and you have to hit either one to get that freak off of me. And once he's down on the playfield, quickly squish him with the ball - that's what you don't have all the time in the world to do. You need to do this three times to beat him, but if you take too long to squish him, he'll come back and then take a swipe at me. If that happens too many times, then this mission is done for.
- Chapter Three - Tie Breaker: Screw this pinball stuff, let's do something different. In THIS mission, you get to arm-wrestle me through the screen - because I can't wrestle you in person, though I think it's obvious who would win. Don't worry, I made this easy for you because the ball is going nowhere fast. Your goal is to simply mash the right buttons to eventually muster the strength to pin my arm down, and the sooner you win, the bigger the reward. But beware...I'm a button masher too, so be ready for some resistance.
ISSUE #3
- Chapter Four - Return of the Dead(pool): Of course the devs forced me to fight Lil' Deadpool again, and this time they got even lazier! At least I've got my Wildcard this time. (Well, Weasel's, actually...I'll explain that later.) Three cannon blasts from the suit will be enough to beat this stinker, but here's the thing: you need to charge up the cannon with 4 shots through a makeshift miniloop around the center ramp, before you take a shot by locking the ball in the sinkhole behind the left mini-flipper. And then you need to actually hit the mark by correctly executing a quick-time event... because as if defeating it wasn't hard enough, Zen thinks this is 2005 all over again. Take too long to make a shot? Fouled up on that QTE? Then Lil' Deadpool will attack the pinball table I'm hiding behind on the left apron by throwing things at it, and eventually, he'll get to me and knock my socks off, so you better blast him three times before it's too late. The good news? The cannon's already fully charged at the start of the mission, so you can make your first shot right out the gate.
- Chapter Five - Evil Me: Wait, did I tell you that I have an evil doppelgänger who likes to ruin my life? And he doesn't even have a toupee? Okay, you're gonna have to help me beat him because he's commandeered my beloved Wildcard and he's trying to blow me to pieces with it. Here's the game plan: You distract him by trying to make two combos that consist of three consecutive shots, and that'll be long enough for me to get him out of there. But beware, if you mess up a combo, Evil Deadpool will hurt me. And even though I have regenerative capabilities, you know I can't just be a meat shield all the time and take all those hits - I gotta be the one that lands 'em.
ISSUE #4
- Chapter Six - U Can't Touch Me: Ooh, boy, this is my favorite! You have to look for me in a game of hide and seek, but remember...don't peek. Once I'm gone, shoot different lanes to eventually find me, but you have a clock to beat, so chop, chop!
- Chapter Seven - Don't Touch That: Get your dirty hands off my Wildcard. I had to borrow it from my buddy Weasel for a while, but if you absolutely must touch it (which I surmise that you will), treat it well by not wasting its ammo on poor target practice! Use the flippers to aim and shoot at popouts of my head in the right wall of the table from the mech's perspective on the left wall of the table, but watch out for those bombs...because I don't think I can afford fixing the mess that'll result if you shoot one. And you need to be quick too, because there's a clock you have to beat in this one which might make this mission a little tougher. You know, after this, I'm never allowing anyone to borrow Wildcard again.
ISSUE #5
- Chapter Eight - Tag, You're It!: Um, bad news. Remember those baddies I had to fight earlier? They're all here, and either they've figured out that if they can't take on me individually, they can surely do it all together... or the devs got lazy again. The good news? Not only do I get to dance to awesome music that topped the Hungarian charts, but this is our chance to get rid of them all for good now that they're all here. Here's how we do it: Shoot 3 flashing lanes within a time limit to attack them, and you need to keep doing that until their health bar at the upper right corner of the scoring display reaches zero so that I (and probably you, too) can finally relax. Take too long to shoot the sequence? They'll attack me. And you know I can't take much punishment, so you better be quick here.
Play With Me[]
Done with all eight missions and still have a ball to spare? Then congratulations, you can unlock the final mission: Issue #6, Chapter Nine - Play With Me, where I get to humiliate you further! You start this the same way as the previous missions, and you have to play against me and outscore me within a time limit - and pretty much the only way you can do that is to master those combos, baby! I would've helped back when you were defeating Evil Deadpool, but chimichangas wait for no one. Then, you need to shoot three sets of lit lanes in any order you wish, each within a time limit while I play as fair as possible - which means I constantly distract you by causing mischief all around the table. If you try this mission on Hard difficulty, you're gonna hate losing this one...
If you somehow survive, I'm just gonna give up and cut the table in half with my katanas so you can shoot lit lanes for jackpots, and you can go for the super jackpot worth double at the center ramp. Bored with just two balls? Get some more by pushing a ball into the sharp blade of the katana and watch as the multiball get wilder with the blade slicing the balls in half to make two new balls, up to the max of four! This keeps going and going until you lose all but one ball and then everything starts over, capiche? Oh, and don't worry, you didn't shatter my pride or anything. Trust me.
Side modes[]
Now let's get to those modes that you don't need to beat to get to Play With Me, and / or everything that doesn't involve yours truly. I was just going to end this page after that wizard mode, but I didn't want to risk the complaints and legal fees.
- Mischief: If you hang around the table long enough without starting anything, a countdown will start to decrease for every lane you shoot. You might want to avoid this altogether if you care about keeping the ball by HURRYING UP AND STARTING A MODE! Sheesh! If it reaches zero, I'll play fair... as if, and mess up your game in one of the following ways:
- I'll throw a smoke grenade somewhere on the table!
- I'll throw some grenades at you! Don't worry, they won't blow up.
- I'll nudge the table! Curse you, active slingshots...
- I'll fix the upper right flipper with some glue! It was flipping uncontrollably.
- I'll pull out a magnet and mess up your shots! Feel the power!
- I'll just shoot the ball! (Please note - your ball will be returned, we're not that mean.)
- Weasel: Spell WEASEL with 6 shots up the left crossramp if you're not too busy, and any of the following three modes will start:
- Repair the Suit: Wildcard is the best mech a mercenary could ask for, but it's not always a well-oiled one (and no, it's not my fault, stop asking). To fix it, you need to shoot one orbit, then hit the crossramp nearest to it once the ball comes out the other side with the opposite flipper. And repeat this enough times until you've hit either spinner enough times. I'm afraid to say that fixing it won't get you to stay away from it, though.
- Calibrate the Suit: Wildcard's cannon can't be effective if it's off kilter - well, it can, but firing from weird angles takes work. So you gotta recalibrate it for me by watching the mech's laser sight and doing all you can to bring the ball right to the moving reticle where it ends. Four hits on that reticle will be enough to make the cannon reliable, and allow me to have all the thrill of finishing housework without actually doing it!
- Prep the Suit: All right, it's time to power up and prepare Wildcard. Its power button is the varitarget in front of my chair, so hit that for me first. Then, you gotta shoot the miniloop at the ramp entrances quickly until the preparation percentage reaches 100%, and the machine will be ready for action! If only Weasel was here to see your hard work.
- Blind Al: Spell BLIND AL with 7 shots up the right ramp - if you care - and any of the following three modes will start:
- Blind Play: Ah yes, Matt Murdoch mode. I get to turn down the lights, and you get to try to shoot all the lit lanes, with only a few lit parts to guide you, like the ball and flippers - I wouldn't be that mean to you, would I? You better complete three rounds of this mode in 30 seconds each if you never want to see it again. (See what I did there?)
- Clean the House: Blind Al, being my roommate, has issues with the mess I leave in my home... also, if you're still reading this, maybe you should clean up your room. Just saying. To please her and make my life inside this pinball machine more manageable, you can do the work for me by finding and hitting all five trash bags that appear on the playfield with the ball within 30 seconds.
- Prank the Merc: Oooh, a spooky ghost ball! That should be fun - certainly better than doing housework, at least - plus I get to watch you fail to flip at the ball! The ghost ball will mess with your flippers, so if you're tired of it, which I know you will be, get rid of that thing with three hits in 30 seconds. Shame, I liked that ghost ball.
Multiball[]
One ball is never enough in a pinball table - everyone learned that decades ago. Let's have fun with two or more by starting any of these high-scoring goodies:
- Hydra Multiball: Bob, Agent of Hydra, was one of my best sidekicks, so here's a 2-ball multiball in his honor that you kinda need to go out of your way to get (hey, I didn't say these would be easy to start). Remember the two saucers I told you about earlier? You need to lock two balls into them, by spelling BOB at those tricky lower left targets to make one saucer lock available. And once one ball is locked, the saucer you locked the ball into will be sealed off with my mask icon, so beware. Work on locking up the other one, and then they'll both release, and you need to hit the crossramps to earn jackpots, and if you're not satisfied with what they give, you can just send one ball into the mini-loop behind the right mini-flipper and they'll increase, and don't you just love it when a sentence goes on for this long? Probably longer than you spent in the Multiball, honestly.
- Hellhouse Multiball: The Hellhouse is like a headquarters for mercs like me - yeah, would you believe I'm a mercenary with all the crazy stuff I've lived through? My creators really wouldn't have been expecting this, I'll say. Anyway, if you want to see me do actual mercenary things, then spell HELLHOUSE with 9 shots up the right crossramp and then you can then lock a ball in the sinkhole under the left mini-flipper. Once three balls are locked this way, I'll throw three balls at you and you can earn a jackpot by shooting the bumpers to build one up, then collecting it by shooting lit lanes with the charged balls. Don't worry, I tested these charged balls and can guarantee that they won't mess up all the game's wires, I swear.
- Headbang Multiball: Don't shoot the sinkhole near the left ramps too many times (10 to be exact), or my zombified counterpart, Headpool, will come out to play as a second ball! If he ever shows up, make him sick by shooting the lit lanes, earning jackpots along the way, and then the Headpool ball will get dizzy and stop at the center of the table where the word SPLIT would be. That's where you hit him and put an end to this madness. Phew, that was tough work.
- Katana Multiball: If you can pull off six 3-way combos (haha, I said 3-way) and then drop the ball into the sinkhole under the left mini-flipper once per combo, I'll throw one of my katanas at the table and it'll plant itself right in the dead center while another ball is shot into play. Want more balls? Then push those balls into the sharp blade of the katana and watch them split into two new balls. Want more points? Then shoot the ramps flanking the center ramp for jackpots, and after enough are collected, you can shoot the center ramp for a super jackpot. Cool, right? Oh, and did I forget to mention that you can stack other multiballs on this one except for Headbang Multiball for maximum scoring? Rage quitting has never been so much fun!
- Sidekick Multiball: If for some reason you think it's boring to play a Sidekick side mode with just one ball (this housework won't solve itself!), you can play another one with two balls if you complete one successfully, then lock the ball in the Box at the left crossramp anytime you want before you start another sidekick mode. Then, the next sidekick mode will be played with two balls instead of one. Now if you think that's fun (and I think it sure will be), just make sure you know that there's a hitch to it: you need to beat that side mode without losing either ball or you fail that mode automatically. You hear me? No flailing mindlessly around the playfield for you... though you probably shouldn't be doing that anyway. Pinball 101 stuff, right there.
Perks[]
Okay, you're probably getting dizzy with all those modes I've been blabbering about for like an hour, right? Well, I've got some stuff that can make things a bit more bearable. Just stick with me here:
- Skill Shot: Started a new game? Your first priority should be to plunge to the lit rollover for 500,000 points, then quickly make whichever shot lights in 5 seconds for an additional 2 million... even Dogpool could've done that.
- Grenade Ball Saver: Grenades can always come in handy, but Zen didn't give me their immense grenade supply and I have to buy them myself. You'll get a free one at the start of each ball and multiball that lasts for I think 30 seconds, and if you drain the ball while it's there, it'll blast the ball back into play. And in case if it doesn't...well, I know that can happen, and you don't have to complain about a ball saver that doesn't actually save the ball, because I'll make sure the table shoots a new ball back into play. And after that ball saver goes bye-bye, you can always get another one if you push the varitarget at my chair all the way and then hit the bumpers enough times. Cool, huh? And one more thing... try not to waste those grenades, okay? They come out of my paycheck.
- Kickbacks: Ah, outlanes. My favorite thing in a pinball machine, but apparently players hate them... so, because I'm such a nice guy, you get to have two kickbacks on this table. Here's how they work: Spell my alter ego's first name on the return rollovers. And that's the easy part. The harder part? Well, you only have several seconds to shoot either of the two ramps flanking the center ramp to turn on a kickback before you have to spell WADE again. The left ramp turns on the left kickback and...yadda, yadda, yadda. And you can't shoot the ramp representing one that's already on, you know. The good news? These low-power spring-loaded kickbacks, once turned on, will stay on until you use them, or until the game is over. And they don't cost anything!
- Bonus Multiplier: Okay, so this is where spelling my alter-ego's last name is gonna help. Look up to the center of the back wall. If you squint close enough, you'll see what letters are missing. Your job is to piece together that last name by dropping the ball through the bumper rollovers so that you'll eventually get a bonus multiplier increase - it can go up to a whopping 10x, and even light one of those precious extra balls I hear you pinball players like so much. To get the letters you need, use those flippers to cycle the letter positions and collect unlit letters. Those bonus multipliers are only good for the current ball, but I hear you can earn a bonus multiplier hold from the Merc Award.
- Merc Award: Mercs always get payouts for getting the job done and I'm no exception thanks to my mad skills. If you shoot the ball into the Hellhouse enough times so that the ball comes out of the roof of the Hellhouse four times and spells MERC, you'll get a nice random reward. So far I've seen decent point values, a kickback, forcing me to buy a grenade (that's the worst), increasing the bonus multipliers, or even lighting an extra ball. And no, I'm not giving you everything at once, you have to work for these. Sorry.
- Jackpot Value: You know how this whole guide has been referring to jackpots but never saying what they're worth? What's up with that? Basically, at the start of the game, your jackpot is worth 500,000 points. Puny. But as you complete missions or spell MERC, it increases, and if you're lucky (or skillful, whatever) enough to get a multiball, it'll constantly increase!
- Combos: So if you shoot a 3-way combo by shooting the three lit lanes marked with COMBO in sequence, then you'll earn a bullet for the third lane you shoot. Those bullets are important, 'cause if you make 5 combos that end with that lane, you'll have a chance to earn an extra ball. But remember here - if you lose the ball, you lose one bullet from each lane that had any, so you better be careful! Curse these small pant pockets... they can hold multipliers, but not bullets.
- Extra Balls: If three balls somehow aren't enough for you on this table, then "the extra ball you should get" (I love that line!) at the Hellhouse crossramp by doing any of these: maxing out the bonus multiplier, earning one from the Merc Award, finishing a combo at a lane with all bullets lit, beating the wizard mode - yeah, as if - or beating all six sidekick modes. Oh, and you only get one extra ball for each of these methods, and they're not refundable.
Tips[]
First of all, don't tell anyone I gave you these tips. These are your gift, and yours alone for reading so much of my incessant babbling. We don't need any people going around saying "oh, I went to the bottom of the page, and there were these tips, here you go!", alright?!... well, it's a public site, so I guess it's fine. But just this once.
- This table has some tough lanes that you need to shoot on your journey to beat me at my own game. You know that right orbit and the two shots behind the upper flippers? The Zen guys made those surprisingly tough to shoot; even I can't make them, so you need to figure them out yourself. Nudging the ball a bit on the left flipper, then shooting the right orbit should make it a little easier for you. And for those shots behind the upper flippers, just trap the ball at either flipper, raise the upper flipper in front of the shot, and then go for it. Easy, right?
- Multiball! Oh wait, they want me to explain more. Your jackpots constantly increase during multiball, and during a long game these can become massive. Hopefully not massive enough to beat my high score, though.
- Remember, you need to keep the ball alive to beat modes and missions, but the Zen team made the kickbacks and the ball saver pretty easy to turn on. So activate them whenever you set out to complete missions or side modes, so you'll have some insurance just in case things do go wrong. And remember - shoot that center ramp with care, because at just the right angle, it can drop the ball straight down the middle. I might laugh at you, but I can't imagine you would be laughing with me.
- The bonus is worth nothing. Those weird yellow boxes hate how dismissive I am towards those bonus multipliers, but really, unless you want that extra ball you're better off ignoring them.
Alright, is that everything? No rules left undiscussed? Cause if that's what's happening, I'm outta here. Hm, you know, this was actually quite a fun article to write... maybe I can go vandalize that Iron Man article now -
External links[]
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